What Makes a Mother

Today, a friend of mine was told by someone that she wasn't a real mother because she had delivered her baby via C-Section.

Hold up.

So she gestated a human being for seven months (her baby was a preemie), has pumped religiously every 4 hours since the day her baby was born, takes her child to therapy, countless appointments, and is probably more aware of all her daughter's needs than anyone else I know, but she isn't a real mom?!

Who the hell comes up with this stuff? Seriously, I'm in disbelief.

I know women who have given birth who I'd never call a mother.  And I know many women who I'd call a mother in one way or another who have never had children of their own.

The nun who gave me a quiet place to breastfeed my baby in the cathedral a few weeks ago...

The cousin who took my brothers and I to our first movie, who has never had children of her own...

The teacher who makes sure her students all eat lunch every day...

The school nurse who kisses a boo boo to make it go away...

The camp counselor who makes sure the little girls' hair is combed every day...

The tutor who works tirelessly with her students...

The woman trying relentlessly to conceive...

The woman who has endured a miscarriage...

The foster mother...

The adoptive mother...

Are any of these women less mother than I am?

A quick Yahoo search gave me this:

Mother:

n. noun

• 1. A woman who gives birth to a child.
• 2. A woman whose egg unites with a sperm, producing an embryo.
• 3. A woman who adopts a child.

adj. adjective

• 1. Relating to or being a mother.
• 2. Characteristic of a mother.
• 3. Being the source or origin.

v. verb

• 1. To give birth to.
• 2. To be the source of; create or produce.
• 3. To act as mother to, as in nourishing and protecting.

NOWHERE does it say... "a woman who delivered a child vaginally." As a matter of fact, it even includes adoption. There's a whole other can of worms, apparently.

To all those women who act as a mother in one way or another, thank you. To all the women who will one day "mother" my child(ren), thank you.

And to everyone else, let's be kind. You never know what others are dealing with.

Xo,

Jen