On Friday, we made a big announcement on social media. We are joyously awaiting our second little blessing! Finding out was a surprise, to say the least, and to tell you the truth, I didn't really believe I was pregnant until I had been to more than one ultrasound. I guess because we had struggled so much to get pregnant with Caleb, it was just surreal.
Last summer, we went to see our reproductive endocrinologist (aka fertility doctor) in the hopes of getting the process started for baby #2. Since Zika was a huge concern last summer and we had a trip to the Dominican Republic, he told us to come back in January. So in January, we went to see him. After going back and forth for a little bit, I told Eddie I didn't think it was the right time. He was in the middle of a transition with his job, and I felt like the added stress of having a baby wasn't something we needed at the moment. So we decided to hold off.
We went about our lives and figured we would come back to the doctor sometime in the fall after Caleb had started preschool. In June, my husband's work situation got resolved, we spent nearly 3 weeks at the beach, and then I went to BlogHer. We also booked a trip to Napa for the first weekend of August. A couple of weeks later, I realized my period was 4 days late. I didn't think much of it since I don't have totally regular cycles. But four days after that, I figured I should probably take a test, especially since we had weekend plans that involved drinking.
I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw that there were two blue lines less than ten seconds after I peed on that little stick. I took two more tests just to be sure, then ran and got some bloodwork to confirm that I was, in fact, pregnant. Eddie was as shocked and as thrilled as I was.
My parents were out of town for three weeks in the month of July. I found out the Friday after they left, and we decided to hold off on telling anyone until they were back. We told my in-laws the night before my parents returned, and we surprised my parents at the airport with the news. Nobody was expecting it, and everyone is as surprised and ecstatic as we are!
I'll have a "bumpdate" for you in the next week or so and I'll let you know all about how I've been feeling, but for now, I'm feeling immeasurable joy at the fact that we are growing our little family!
Caleb is excited about his baby brother or sister, too!
A while back, I posted about accepting my MomBod. And while I don't beat myself up about my weight or the way I look anymore, If I'm 100% honest, I don't always love myself the way that I should. I brush off compliments and say, "Oh no way, they're just being nice." And really, that's a knee-jerk reaction that we develop to compliments when we don't feel worthy of them. And I don't want that to be what my son learns from me - that I, or any woman, doesn't feel worthy enough to accept a compliment from the ones they love.
I didn't realize just how much I did this until recently, when Eddie told me how beautiful I looked while we were at the beach last week. I nearly rolled my eyes and I definitely made some kind of guttural sound like "ugh, yea right." And he called me out on it. He wasn't upset or hurtful, but he definitely made me realize that I'm not as receptive of compliments as I should be. And in the last few weeks, Caleb has started to tell me, "Mommy, bee-ful (his version of beautiful)!" I don't ever want to shoot down his complimenting me. Because guess what? In their eyes, I am beautiful.
Lately, I've been having Eddie take outfit photos of me. Not because I don't want to work with photographers, but because there is something different in the way Eddie captures me. I don't know if it's because he knows my best angles, or because he's looking through the lens at someone he loves, but I'm always so happy with the way those photos turn out, and I tend to nitpick at them way less than I do at other photos.
I actually had him take some photos of me this past week, on the beach, in a bathing suit. We had gotten up early and the morning was beautiful. I threw on my swimsuit and a sarong, and I grabbed my camera on the way out the door. I asked him to take a few shots of me, not knowing what I would use them for. When I started browsing through them, I was pleasantly surprised. Because before I noticed my belly sticking out, I noticed my smile. Before I noticed that my boobs didn't look perfect, I noticed how relaxed I looked. And I noticed that I did, in fact, look pretty.
And you know what? Since that moment on the beach, I haven't felt self-conscious about the way I look. I have been focused on making memories with my family, and relaxing, and enjoying the time we have been spending together. Because years from now, my son and my husband won't remember that I had a little extra back fat. They will remember jumping in the waves with me, and building sand castles with me, and walking up and down the beach with me. And that's what I want them to remember. Not that mom was too ashamed to take off her cover-up to jump in the water with them.
So from now on, I'm going to try to be more accepting of compliments. I'm going to try to see myself the way those who love me see me, for myself.
And you should try it momma. Because you're beautiful, just as you are. Trust me.
P.S. I want to shout out a blogger who epitomizes body confidence and positivity, Sarah Tripp at Sassy Red Lipstick. She is gorgeous, and every time I see her posts, I realize that I am normal, and that I should be happy with how I look, right now. Go check her out, I promise you won't be disappointed (her hubby also happens to be her photographer and they're the cutest).
Bathing Suit & Hat: Target
This is a sponsored post. I was provided a monitor for my honest review. All opinions are my own.
How many of us have been baffled by the concept of reading our BBT (basal body temperature) when planning for or trying to avoid conception? I know I have always been. Basal body temperature is your body's temperature when it is completely at rest. In women, BBT rises during ovulation. It is a great predictor of ovulation.
If you have been following my blog for a while, you know we went through some infertility issues. When we were first trying to get pregnant, I tried tracking my BBT a couple months. First, the thermometer I purchased was broken. Then I kept forgetting to check my temperature when I first woke up. At the end of the day we knew we needed a doctor's help so we went with that.
We aren't necessarily working on number 2 yet, but we are thinking about it. Since we are thinking about it, I wanted to make sure I had a better feel for my body and for what was going on. I had considered ordering a BBT Thermometer, but kept putting it off because I knew I would have to do some research there too.
But a couple of months ago a friend of mine reached out to tell me about this new monitor. It's called Himama, and it was created to track your BBT.
The oval that looks like a "button" is actually the monitor. It comes in a hard casing, which is actually its charging station. There is also what appears to be a bralette (but it isn't, because it doesn't cover a thing - which is why you don't see photos of me wearing it), and you insert the monitor into the space on the bralette, and wear it overnight. While you sleep, it records your information.
When you wake up in the morning, open up your app, and voila! all your information syncs to the app. It is really convenient because the app tells you when you are ovulating, if you are pre-fertile or pre-menstrual. It also lets you know if you did not appear to have ovulated one month (anovulation).
Overall, I have found it easier to use himama than to remember to check my temperature before getting up to pee every morning. I typically leave it on my pillow so I remember to put it on before I go to bed. It has been a great tool for getting to know my body and learning that I am, in fact, ovulating!
If you are interested in ordering, visit the himama website. From now until June 30, use the code TTN15 for 15% off your purchase!
When I first started this blog, this was one of the things I most wanted to do with my readers... share places I love and have enjoyed with Caleb. I can't believe now is when I'm finally getting around to it! I haven't been to every single place on this list with Caleb, but I did get a lot of suggestions from other toddler mamas in one of my mommy groups. So if we are recommending it, you can bet that they are places we have taken our kids!
If you're from Miami, most of these places probably won't come as a surprise to you, but you might not have been to all of them. If you're not from Miami, but have been considering making a trip down here with your kids, know that South Beach isn't the only part of Miami that you can visit with kids (nor should it be the only place you visit!).This list isn't totally comprehensive, and I didn't include areas like Little Havana or Wynwood, which have their own attractions, some appropriate for kids and others not necessarily. I focused on places that really are entertaining and captivating for kids.
Without further ado, here's MY-ami!
1. The Beach
You can't mention Miami and not think of the beach. So that's why it's first on the list. Kids love the beach and can be entertained there for hours at a time. There is always the miles of beach on Miami Beach, although during peak tourist season parts of the beach can be particularly packed. South Pointe Park is a great option - there is a splash pad area that is great and some lush green areas as well. The biggest downfall here is that parking can get pricey and the walk to the beach from parking is a long one. If you've ever been to the beach with kids you know how much stuff a day at the beach requires, so this might not be the absolute best option.
One of our favorites because it is far away from all the hustle and bustle of Miami Beach is Matheson Hammock Park. Tucked away in the back of the park is a man made lagoon which is fed by the bay. It's lined with palm trees, has lifeguards, and parking is easy and close to the sand (and cheap!).
South Point Park
1 Washington Avenue, Miami Beach, FL
Admission: Free (Parking fee varies, however)
Matheson Hammock Park
9610 Old Cutler Road, Miami, FL
Admission: Parking Fee About $5.00
If your kid loves trains - take them to the Gold Coast Railroad Museum! They have old trains that are no longer in use. Caleb loves climbing into the cars and running through them. At Christmastime they do a really cute Polar Express activity (we haven't done it yet but will probably do it this Christmas). They also have special activities throughout the year and Thomas comes to visit, too!
Gold Coast Railroad Museum
12450 SW 152nd St, Miami, FL 33177
Admission: Adults $8.00, Kids (ages 2-12) $6.00
3. The Zoo
Once your kids are old enough to recognize animals, Zoo Miami is the place to go. The zoo is huge and has some beautiful areas. Get ready for some walking! They have family bikes you can rent as well and tour the zoo that way. There are two splash pads and tons of cool animal exhibits. One of our favorite things to do when we go there is to feed the giraffes. It's $3 and you get lettuce leaves to feed to them.
The zoo and Gold Coast Railroad Museum are actually located on the same property. The zoo is massive but the railroad museum isn't, so you might be able to squeeze both in on the same day, but I wouldn't recommend it.
12400 SW 152nd St, Miami, FL 33177
Admission: Adult $21.95, Children (ages 3-12) $17.95
4. Miami Children's Museum
We haven't been to the Miami Children's Museum in a while, but this is an awesome place to go anytime, but even more so when the weather is crummy because it's indoors! They have tons of exhibits, where they focus on dress up, on careers and occupations, and loads of sensory activities. They have seasonal exhibits which are always filled with activities as well.
Miami Children's Museum
980 MacArthur Causeway, Miami, FL 33132
Admission: General Admission $20, Florida Residents (Must present I.D.) $15
5. Fairchild Tropical Gardens
Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden is a beautiful botanical garden filled with lush vegetation and greenery. I actually haven't been here with Caleb but I was there last week for a photo shoot and all I could think while I was there was that it would be the perfect place for Caleb to run around. There are wide open spaces and plenty of interesting things for them to look at. It also has so many incredible photo opportunities!
Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden
10901 Old Cutler Rd, Coral Gables, FL 33156
Admission: Non-member adults $25, Children: 5 & under FREE, 6-17 $12
6. Pinecrest Gardens
Another place with lush greenery, Pinecrest Gardens has a lot more areas geared towards kids. They have a playground, a petting zoo, and a splash pad. Its much smaller than Fairchild and comes with a smaller price tag. We have only been for a birthday party and haven't really experienced all that the Gardens have to offer, but it is certainly somewhere we will be going back to!
11000 Red Rd, Pinecrest, FL 33156
Admission: General Admission $5
7. Knaus Berry Farm
Knaus Berry Farm is open seasonally from November - mid-April. When they are open, they make these incredible cinnamon buns and outrageous milkshakes. Lines can get pretty long, but when you taste one of those buns you will know that your wait was worth it. Take a bunch to go. You can also go strawberry picking here. I actually remember going here when I was younger - it has been around since the 50s and remains family owned and operated. If you can make it out here before they close for the season, definitely do!
Knaus Berry Farm
15980 SW 248th Street, Homestead, FL 33031
8. Perez Art Museum Miami (PAMM)
We haven't been to the Perez Art Museum Miami with Caleb. I'm not sure that the museum itself would entertain him for too long. But the draw of PAMM is that they have lots of family friendly events. The park outside is also so inviting for kids, and has amazing views of the bay, along with this incredible breeze. If you can swing it, enjoy lunch at their cafe, the food is delicious and it's such a relaxing environment.
1103 Biscayne Blvd, Miami, FL 33132
Admission: Adults $16, Children (under 6) FREE, (7-18) $12
9. Robert is Here Fruit Stand
Similar to Knaus Berry Farm, Robert is Here is only closed in September and October. They specialize in rare and exotic fruits, but also have milkshakes and produce. They also have a petting zoo and a splash pad, as well as picnic tables. They have grown so much that they now have live music on certain days of the week as well!
Robert is Here Fruit Stand
19200 SW 344th St, Homestead, FL 33034
Admission: Free, Prices vary
10. History Miami
Truthfully, the last time I came to History Miami I was probably in elementary school! But it is a Smithsonian Affiliate Museum, and it has all kinds of exhibits that are meant to preserve the history of none other than, MIAMI! It's actually somewhere I would probably take Caleb when he is a little bit older, but it's still a cool option and an awesome way to learn about Miami's history! I'm actually really intrigued by some of their upcoming exhibits and may try and convince the hubs to do a date night there. ;)
101 W Flagler St, Miami, FL 33130
Admission: Adults $10, Children (6-12) $5, (6 & Under FREE)
A few bonus spots:
For those of you who live closer to or north of the Dade/Broward County line, I had some amazing suggestions as well. I'll just list them below along with links to their home pages.
And there you have it! A list of all things Miami for kids. Pin it, save it, let me know what you get to! I can't wait to hear all about your Miami adventures! Go ahead, make it YOUR-AMI!
P.S. I have to give a special thanks to my mommy group, who supplied me with a lot of the ideas you read about in this post! You girls rock!
I'm always interested to hear what other parents consider their absolutely must-haves. For some parents, it's certain toys, for others it's a food product. Our top must-haves in our house vary, but these are the things that have gotten the most use in our house over the course of the last 2 years. I'm including links to the products to make for easy shopping (I got you).
And there you have it! The items we absolutely cannot live without in our house!
I'd love to hear your must-have items - leave them in the comments section below!
*This post is not sponsored.
If you follow me on Instagram, you already know that I completed my half marathon on Sunday. I wrote a post not too long ago about my workout essentials, and how I felt I was unprepared for my half marathon.
And I wasn't prepared, not as much as I should have been. The furthest I had ever run before then was 5.5 miles. Nothing even close to 13.1. As a matter of fact, I almost didn't show up that morning. I was in the process of psyching myself out, I was crying, I didn't want to do it alone. And my husband looked at me and said, "You've got to be kidding, you can't be scared of this. You've birthed a human! You can do this."
I started off the morning with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law, who signed up for the run because Eddie and I said we were going to do it. Disney and anything princess related is a major motivator. While we were standing in the corral, we were talking about our expectations for it, and my sister-in-law mentioned she had a time in which she wanted to finish. She then added, "My goal is to cross the finish line." I looked at them and said, "Honestly, you guys have trained hard for this. I haven't been nearly as good. My goal is six miles. If I make it through six miles, I'll have run farther than I have ever run before, and I'll make it all the way through Magic Kingdom." I ended up running the first mile or so with them, and then I fell behind. It gave me a lot of time to think.
I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I got emotional during this run. Within the first two miles I thought about my grandmother, who passed away in November, and how she would have been freaking out if she knew I was doing this, which then made me crack up. I thought about Caleb and Eddie, and how utterly blessed I am to have them in my life. I thought about my parents, and my in-laws, who gave up their anniversary weekend to watch us all run this thing (Fun fact: my parents anniversary is the 25th, my in-laws the 26th, and ours the 27th!). Before I knew it, I was crossing the Magic Kingdom parking lot and mile 3.
By the time I crossed mile 5, we were entering Magic Kingdom. Eddie was waiting for me in the spectator area on Main Street (Caleb stayed with my parents the night before so I could sleep). I had already been crying after passing a few super motivating signs, but once I saw Eddie, all bets were off. I was a blubbering mess. And I think I was so emotional because I had doubted myself so hard. Maybe also because I was PMSing, but whatever. He grabbed my face and said, "You're doing amazing. Keep going. You've got this." Then we took a picture together with the castle in the background, and you can clearly see tears in my eyes. It also might be my favorite picture of us with the castle, ever.
So I made myself a new goal - I would get to Mile 10. Miles 6 - 9 I slowed down some, but I was still trucking. Mile 10 was where it started to get HARD. My quads were burning, and I could feel blisters on the bottom of my feet. I didn't have any pain, but my body was definitely feeling every step. But right before I reached Mile 10, I started to get all kinds of texts from my family and friends, who were following along with my bib tracking.
When my parents texted that they were at the finish line with Eddie and Caleb, I knew that I would have to finish this race. Miles 11-13 were so damn long. And so hard. I was slow. I walked a lot. But I kept telling myself, just finish.
When I finally reached the finish line, I smiled, and then I broke down. I lost it. Ugly cried. Trust me, Disney PhotoPass Photographers caught it, and yes, I'm sharing with you.
I kept crying, and when I got my medal, I'm pretty sure I couldn't see straight. When I finally caught up with Eddie and Caleb and my parents, I was a mess.
But I learned so much doing this.
I learned that completing something like this is 25% training for it and 75% mental. If you have people pushing you and cheering for you, you can do it.
I learned that I can crush my goals, and then continue to surpass them.
I learned that I am stronger than I ever believed.
It reaffirmed that my body is incredible.
I learned that half marathoners come in all shapes, sizes, and athletic abilities.
I learned that if you want to do something, just do it. Don't set mental barriers for yourself. Don't tell yourself anything else except, you CAN.
One note: don't do this without training some. I knew I could do 5 miles, and with the motivation and the energy levels around me, I was able to complete it, but I would definitely recommend a lot more training than what I did. But if this is something that you want to do, then train for it, and do it. I promise, you can. Even in the best shape of my life, and when I was the most active, running a mile was something I was never able to do. If you had told me 5 years ago I would be able to complete 13.1 miles, I would have laughed in your face. But here I am. And yes, I'm totally getting that magnet for my car, because why the heck not?!
Crush it, momma.
It's almost March, which means all the St. Patrick's stuff has started to show up on store shelves (side note: when did St. Patrick's Day become an actual holiday?). This got me thinking about luck.
"You're so lucky." If you live on this planet, those words have probably been uttered to you before in regard to something you have or have achieved. Those words really make me crazy. And while I know that people never say them with ill-intent, it's always a shock to my system to hear those words.
Luck: (noun) success or failure apparently brought about by chance rather than one's own actions.
I'm not sure about you, but I don't feel like most of the things in my life came about by chance. Aside from an initial chance encounter, most of the things in my life have come about through hard work and sacrifice.
"You are so lucky to be a stay-at-home mom." I would venture to say that this has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with a series of decisions I made during my life, including the decision to marry a husband who recognized the importance of having a parent stay home with young children if it was feasible.
"You are so lucky to have a solid marriage." Ummm, marriage is hard work. Luck stopped the day my husband and I crossed paths in our university's student center. Every day thereafter has been the product of choices made by each of us to keep our relationship thriving. Speaking of...
"You are so lucky to have landed such an incredible man." Why yes, my husband is pretty freaking incredible. I'd like to think I am too. And I'd like to think that, again, luck had nothing to do with me landing him. My stellar personality and ridiculously good looks (just kidding haha) must have had nothing to do with it, right? But seriously, did I have nothing to do with it? Saying this implies that he basically picked me out of a hat. And considering we dated twice, I'd say that most certainly wasn't the case.
"You are so lucky to have your little boy." To this I'd say, read about our struggle with infertility. Has God blessed me immensely with this little boy of mine? YES. Am I grateful to have him wake up every morning? Yes. Did he come to us by pure chance and luck? NO.
"Your husband is so lucky to have the job he has." I think this one may bother me most of all, and I know I have spoken to many friends who feel this way as well. My husband works his butt off - sometimes at the expense of his own well-being. His success can be attributed to any number of factors, but luck is certainly not one of them. And his success also has just a tiny bit to do with his having a supportive wife at home.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure that there is not a whole lot that anyone in this life has that can be attributed solely to luck. At some point along the way, a decision was made about something or other that led to whatever this person has or does not have. And I'm going to say I'm fairly certain luck has nothing to do with it.
So next time you're about to tell someone how lucky they are, don't. Some alternatives: "You're so fortunate," or "You've been blessed" (as cliched as that may be, it's still less insulting than "you're lucky."
Just keeping it real.
When I was pregnant, I knew right away that it was a boy. When the ultrasound confirmed it, I was so excited to have a little boy. I get asked all the time when we are going to have our girl, and I honestly don't like that question. If God gives us a daughter, I will be thrilled. But I will not love my children any less because of their sex. My friend Justine over at Sunny in June is pregnant with her third baby boy. She recently wrote a great article in response to why this question in particular annoys her so much, because apparently raising boys is the worst.
I've noticed a lot of articles floating around recently about raising boys. Maybe it's because Facebook's algorithm is that good and notices I don't click on stuff with daughters so it pushes all the "boy parent" stuff up to the top of my feed. Regardless, I have read some interesting things out there in the last couple of weeks, with a particular resurgence since the Women's March.
I'm not making a political statement here. I'm writing from the heart on my thoughts, concerns, and fears when it comes to raising a boy. Girls and women get so much attention nowadays that it's hard to cut through sometimes and remember that raising our boys is so important too.
Firstly, however, I want to say that women's rights are important. We are equal to men. We are different, and those differences are cause for celebration. I mean, show me a man who can push a baby out his bits after carrying said baby for 9+ months, then continue to give that baby life by breastfeeding, and I will show you that pigs can fly. Women should be paid fairly for doing the same work men do, women should have the same opportunities men do, and women shouldn't have to feel like someone else needs to shatter glass ceilings for them. I am also in no way implying that every man is the same nor is every woman the same. Amongst us all, there are so many differences. Which again, should be celebrated, not shamed, in the way that some people do. If you want to work and pursue your career, go for it. If you want to stay home and take care of your children, do the damn thing. If you don't want to get married and travel the world with no strings attached, DO YOU GIRL.
But there are biological and developmental differences in men and women that can't be denied. We can't treat our boys and girls exactly the same because their needs are different. Having taught middle school for many years, I can tell you that the developmental difference is very much present. Their individual needs have to be met so that they can develop into the men we want a whole generation of girls to marry.
And while the old school mentality of "man up" doesn't necessarily sit well with me, neither does the notion that our boys have to be the same as girls, or that girls somehow deserve more of our attention than boys do. We want our boys to grow into men, into fathers, into spouses, and into incredible members of society. I don't want a son who is offended by everything, but I also don't want a son who is offensive. If we neglect them. or imply that somehow women deserve to be treated better than they do, then we are setting ourselves up for a generation of boys who is resentful.
So how do we raise our boys into men? I'm not sure that there's a right or wrong way to make our boys into men, but I know it starts at home. I don't know what the future will bring - I don't know if a few years from now I'll look back on these words and think, "Wow, Jenise, you had so much to learn." But I'd like to think that by doing some of these things, my Caleb will grow from a boy into a MAN.
Be the example.
Dads, you play a super important role here. The way that your sons see you treating women will be the way they treat women. You know that saying, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree?" Kids learn best by example. If you are demeaning women, making women seem less than men are, then that's what they will emulate. We are our children's first teachers. So hold open all the doors, allow women to go first, and give up your seat for the pregnant woman, for crying out loud. Same goes for us moms - whatever we allow to be done to us will be what our sons think is acceptable. But also very important will be how they see us treat other women. If we are bitchy and backstabbing and gossipy, they will think that behavior is okay.
Recognize their unique needs.
Some boys are sensitive. Others are not. Some boys are rough. Others are not. There is no mold for boys, just as there is no mold for anyone else on this earth. Pay attention to your child. If your son has an interest in trucks, let him play with trucks. If your son has a desire to rescue animals, let him do it. I come from a family with a diverse group of men. My grandfather was always a baseball-loving, scotch-drinking factory worker who loved to build things and use his hands. My dad is also great with building things and is super handy, but he loves to decorate and has never been interested in sports, really. One of my brothers is a priest who will occasionally play soccer and loves a good cigar, and my other brother is a lanky engineer who loves video games. Encourage the uniqueness in your boys. Don't ever tell them, "You're a boy, you should (or shouldn't) be doing this."
Let boys be boys.
Before you jump down my throat and say, "That's the most misogynistic phrase ever!" please let me finish. I don't mean that boys should be excused for inappropriate behavior because it's somehow ingrained in their DNA to be inappropriate. I do mean - let them play outside, give them activities that involve movement, teach them healthy ways of getting out stress or anxiety. I have friends whose daughters are content to sit and color and play with PlayDoh for hours. Caleb stands at the back door and begs me to go "ousside". He runs in circles while aforementioned girls are coloring. Their energy needs to be expended, and it's usually in super active ways. Let them go outside, let them get dirty. Let them learn to fix things. Take them fishing and let them bait the hook. Since when is being a man's man a bad thing (as long as you're not being a jerk while at it)?
Monitor what they watch/listen to/read.
I'm not saying to censor anything, but if it has a questionable message, (and their maturity level is at a place where this is an appropriate action) talk to them about it and discuss why the message is questionable. Mainstream media is full of smart, independent women, but it's also filled with terrible messages that heavily influence our boys. They think that if the celebrities they look up to say it's okay, then it's okay (don't even get me started on kids having celebrities as role models). We also live in a society where sex is "easy come, easy go," and a lot of things are no longer considered taboo, especially when it comes to what we are watching and listening to. If we teach them that sex is something to be valued, then they will recognize those messages as frivolous. It all comes down to talking to them openly. Having open lines of communication with your kids makes a world of difference in their perception of the world.
Teach them self control.
This one is huge. I think if more people (men and women alike) practiced self control, we would avoid a lot of the issues that we have. If we teach our boys to have self control and not act on every impulse, that will cut the issues we have tremendously. By teaching them to control urges of all kinds, we teach them about patience and respect. One of the things I always used to tell my middle school students was, no matter what a girl says to you, you need to exercise self control and think about the situation. I came across many situations where girls were baiting boys, and the boys would get in trouble when they really didn't think they were doing anything wrong, because girls were sending all the "green light" signals. When the boys got in trouble, they were dumbfounded, and a lot of that could have been avoided if they had exercised self control. My parents' favorite phrase to tell us was "There are choices and there are consequences. Every single choice has a consequence. Consider your options." After a few years, it was shortened to, "Remember: choices and consequences," as we were leaving the house to head out to wherever we were going. It makes you stop and think about what the reaction to your action will be.
Teach them that feelings are okay.
One of the most damaging things we can tell our boys is to "man up." They need to learn that a healthy expression of emotion is normal. Crying is normal, anger is normal. Punching or hitting someone isn't (unless they deck you first, in which case, have at it... and that's something I would tell my daughter, too, if I had one.). So many guys grow up thinking that they can't act a certain way or feel a certain way because it isn't manly. That just isn't true. Feelings are a normal reaction to events in our lives and should be felt, not squashed. And if our boys don't learn to deal with their feelings, then they hold them inside until they blow, resulting in rage, violence, depression, you name it. So go ahead baby boy, cry it out. I'll comfort you and tell you it's okay.
Teach them kindness.
Kids can be cruel. Teach your kids to stand up for those who are picked on, to sit at lunch with the kid who sits alone, to offer a helping hand. And don't just tell them to do it. Model the behavior! Don't talk badly about people or make fun of others. Be kind to everyone you meet, and your kids will emulate that behavior. Help those you come across who are in need, and teach them that being a silent spectator is just as bad as committing an act yourself. If our kids learn from a young age to be kind, then they will continue to practice that kindness throughout their lives. And really, that's what the world needs right now - a whole lot of kindness.
Don't make excuses for them.
My mom always tells this story about me. When I was in high school, I was in an Honors math class. I had a bunch of friends in the class, but since Math wasn't my strength, I always sat in the front of class and was ready for when the teacher walked in (go ahead, call me a nerd). One day, he walked into class and the rest of the class didn't settle down, so he said that since we didn't need him, he was just going to give us a test on the material we were supposed to have learned that class. Two of my bookish friends and I, all of whom were ready for class to begin, got up and walked out of the room, something that was totally out of character for us. My mom was the Assistant Principal at the time, and we marched straight to her office, indignant that we were being treated so unfairly by the teacher. She looked at us and said, "I don't care whether you think it was fair or not, he actually has the right to report you, and you could be suspended for your actions. I suggest you march right back to his classroom and apologize." We burst into tears and walked back to class, heads down, so embarrassed. We were lucky we didn't get into more trouble, but it's a perfect example of not bailing your kids out. My mom and that teacher still work together and laugh about this story every time we are all together, but it taught me a really important lesson, and that was that regardless of what my mom's position was within that institution, she wasn't going to let me off easy.
This is probably, by far, the most important thing. My mom could have made up an excuse for me and said it wasn't fair, the teacher was wrong, any number of things. But she didn't. Kids have to learn to deal with the consequences of their actions. All of these stories in the news where boys sexually assaulted a girl, what do they have in common? Mommies and daddies who swoop in and save them. As a parent, it's natural to not want to see your child suffer. But sometimes, a little suffering goes a long way. If they see that their parents are going to hold them to the same standards that everyone else is held to, they won't think they'll get off easy.
Will these things make a difference? Will these things help me make my boy into a man? I don't know. And the answer is that truthfully, nobody knows. And we can teach our boys everything we know, and they are still going to make mistakes. And at that point it will be up to us to reconsider our use of the phrase "boys will be boys." Because really, boys are human, and like every human, should be held accountable for their choices.
Stay hopeful friends, there are some good men coming your way.
And go check out Justine's latest post on raising boys, too! I promise you'll love it!
If you know anything about me, you know I am all about ease. Whatever makes my life easier, I'm all about it. So why would I be any different when it comes to making meals for my family?
When it comes to cooking, the less I have to prep, the less I have to dirty, and the less I have to clean, the better! Which is why I absolutely love these Aidells All Natural Chicken Meatballs. They are tasty and I can read every single ingredient in the ingredients list. They come fully cooked, so all you need to do it heat and eat. Best of all, Caleb and Eddie love them too! I actually always have two packs on hand, for nights when I forget to pull something out or plan a meal or just in case we end up with last minute company, I can always throw these on the frying pan and have a delicious, easy, and healthy dinner.
This combination is one of my favorites because it's tasty, and the colors look gorgeous together, don't they? It's also a one-pan meal, so there's that, too.
I buy a packaged butternut squash at Publix, it already comes chopped (again, all about easy) and vacuum sealed so it will last longer in your fridge.
Friends, it doesn't get much easier than that! Enjoy!
If you follow my Instagram account, you know I have spent the last few weeks preparing for Caleb's second birthday. Last year, we didn't do a birthday party and instead took a trip to Disney with family. This year, when Eddie mentioned that he would love to throw a party for Caleb, I started my Pinterest board right away (Of course).
I decided on a Neverland theme, with the idea that I could incorporate elements of Peter Pan (a classic) and Jake and the Neverland Pirates (which Caleb loves and recognizes - as a matter of fact, every pirate is either "Jake" or "Hook"). Pinterest is a dangerous place, and my ideas quickly spun out of control. Thankfully, my parents are amazing at executing ideas and were able to let me borrow a LOT of things they already had. I took most of the photos myself, and in doing so while also trying to enjoy the party, I did miss a few details, but for the most part, they're included! Read on for party details...
About this Mom
A Miami wife and mom documenting her days with her toddler and all that comes along with it.