No, I'm not pregnant again. But a year ago today, I found out that I was pregnant with little Miss Chloe. I didn't know she would be a she, but from the moment we found out, she was already so loved. I've been a little frustrated the last few days because she is going through the fourth leap in the Wonder Weeks (if you have a baby under a year old and don't know about this, look it up) and she is smack in the middle of her fussy period. She hasn't wanted to be put down and she just wants me all the time. While I was holding her and nursing her for what felt like the tenth time this morning, my Timehop notification popped up on my phone, and this photo I took right after finding out I was pregnant showed up.
I feel like this photo pretty accurately captures my joy, my surprise, and my anxiety all at the same time. Seeing the photo reminds me to stop and breathe through these frustrations, because for a while I didn't think there would be another pregnancy for me. I took a few minutes out of my day that day and the next few to jot down a few thoughts, and I thought today was as good a day as any to share them with you.
Today I found out I am pregnant. It was honestly one of the most shocking moments of my life! Since we struggled to get pregnant with Caleb, we thought we were going to have to undergo fertility treatments to conceive our next baby. We had done a few visits with our reproductive endocrinologist, but had decided to hold off on treatment because of various reasons.
In June, we went on vacation for two and a half weeks, and then to Orlando for BlogHer. Before June I had been tracking my period, checking my BBT, and trying to make sure we were active on the days when I was supposed to be ovulating. I haven't been on birth control in over 5 years, so I figured if it hadn't happened yet, then we definitely would need the doctors help. But since the month of June was so busy, I didn't think about any of that. As a matter of fact, Eddie and I booked a trip to Wine Country for the first weekend of August.
A few days ago, I was being really cranky and snapping at everything. Eddie said to me something along the lines of, "You must be getting your period." When he said that, I stopped and thought for a minute and realized I was already more than a week late. My period isn't super regular, and I've had months where it has been 2 weeks late, so I put it out of my mind.
This morning, I went to do my nails, and on the way home I decided to stop at Walgreens. Since I was in the aisle, I picked up some pregnancy tests and figured I'd take one just in case. I went home, unloaded my stuff and went to the bathroom. The positive line showed up IMMEDIATELY. I freaked out. I started shaking. I called Eddie into the bedroom and told him. He didn't even know what to say. We were both in shock. Here we were, thinking we would never get pregnant without medical intervention, PREGNANT.
I have a friend who works in the reproductive endocrinologist's office, and she's been through our entire journey with us, so I texted her. Their office is down the street from our house, so she told me, come get your blood drawn. I took off like a bolt and got my blood drawn. Within two hours they had called me with the results - that I am in fact, very pregnant.
This is a very different journey than it was the last time - at least the start of it has been.
Today I started on progesterone. I was on this with my pregnancy with Caleb. There are many reasons for it, but one of the biggest is that it helps you to carry a pregnancy to term. Some of the other benefits are that it decreases pregnancy symptoms such as nausea (which can be a little scary when you still can’t see your belly).
Thinking back, I realize there were a few little signs.
nipples: My breasts were super tender, but I thought nothing of it because they are always tender before my period. My nipples were always standing at attention, too, which happened with my pregnancy with Caleb.
Cousin It: I also have these annoying dark hairs on my chin due to PCOS. I did laser hair removal way back before I got pregnant with Caleb, and I don't typically get a lot of hair after doing the treatment. But when I did get pregnant with Caleb, my hair growth was crazy. In the last few weeks, I noticed the hair was sprouting up like weeds.
Status: Couch Potato: I was also tired and feeling really lazy. I couldn’t get out of bed. And after Eddie and Caleb napped one day, he asked me if I had slept. I replied, I never nap! For the next three days, I swear, all I wanted was a nap.
The nose knows: When all else fails, your sense of smell will let you know. Eddies cigar smoking doesn't typically bother me, but in the last couple weeks, twice the smell REALLY bugged me. Once was in his breath, and he said he had already brushed his teeth, but it was so strong I made him brush again. The other time was on his fingers. He doesn't typically hold his cigar with his left hand and he put his left hand in my face and I was so grossed out.
More bloodwork today to make sure my hCg levels are rising. They more than doubled since Friday which is a great sign. Now we wait until next Monday, when we have our first ultrasound to hear our little bean’s heartbeat.
One of my biggest concerns nearing the end of this pregnancy was Caleb and how he would adjust to having a sibling. I know it's normal, and I know kids become siblings every day, but I wanted the transition to be a smooth one. So we have did a few things to prepare Caleb and make sure he understood what was going on in his world.
The Big Introduction
Babies come on their own terms, so we had a Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C. We had mapped out who was going to be staying with Caleb at our home (which was really important to me so that his routine wasn't too disrupted), and how the daily routines would function. Since I was induced, we at least ended up knowing which day she would come and we were able to really prepare for that. We wanted to be sure that when Caleb came to meet her, it was just Eddie, Caleb, Chloe and I in the room (and our photographer, of course). It ended up working out where he was the first person to come in from the waiting room to meet her. Once they said visitors could come in, Eddie went to get him from the waiting room and walked in with him. He came in with the gift he had picked out for her and opened it up right away. We let him look at her and touch her feet. He wanted to carry her right away. We also had gifts for him from his sister.
And honestly, it was love at first sight. He was enthralled with her. So much so that he didn't want to leave the room. Our family members rotated in, but Caleb stayed with Chloe and I the whole time. Every single person who walked in, he introduced them to her, "This is my baby sister Chloe!" He went to school the following day armed with a photo of his baby sister and showed it off to everyone at school. I couldn't have hoped for a better reaction.
I can't tell you for sure which of the things we did to prepare Caleb to be a big brother really worked, or if he would have been as sweet with her if we hadn't done any of these things (it's very possible - because he has always been very sweet to babies in general). But I do know we talked a lot about his baby sister and about him being a big helper. And honestly, I think kids just want to be prepared, as much as we do. It's a life-altering event for them, too.
And then there were four.
I hope these help you in preparing your toddler to be a big brother or sister!
*This post is not meant to provide medical advice. It is simply a retelling of my own birth story.
First off, my apologies for not having posted recently! The last few weeks of pregnancy were so uncomfortable that I could not sit for extended periods in front of the computer, and the first two weeks of postpartum were full of healing, and sitting in front of the computer was also out of the question then. I did try to work on hubby's laptop, but really, with a baby attached to you basically 24/7, it's nearly impossible.
So let's get right to it. After much anticipation, our little Chloe is finally here! As I mentioned above, the last few weeks of pregnancy were very uncomfortable. Filled with aches and pains, false contractions, and increasing number of Braxton Hicks, and an order from doctors to "take it easy," the last 3-4 weeks were pretty tough. I was fairly certain that Chloe would make her appearance early, around weeks 37-38. But she had other plans. While she was making me very uncomfortable and kicking my ribs every chance she got, she was quite comfy in there.
Each week, when I visited my OB's office, they must have sensed my desperation. At week 39 on the nose, I went in and the doctor offered to do a cervical check. He said if I was dilating and effaced, then we could talk about inducing labor. We had already discussed it and all the doctors I saw agreed that I was a good candidate for it, because I had already had a successful vaginal delivery with Caleb (I was actually helped along during his labor, too). So when my cervical check revealed that I was, in fact, 2 cm dilated and over 70% effaced, the doctor asked if I'd like to be induced. Eddie answered for me and said, "Doc, if you told her to cross the street to the hospital right now, she wouldn't argue with you on it." I agreed, and we set the date for induction two days later, on February 28 (I would have done it the following day, but it was our wedding anniversary, and I wanted Chloe to have her own day). I also knew the possible risk of an induction ending in a c-section, but my doctors seemed confident that that would not be the case, so we went ahead with the decision.
So we took the next day to prepare everything, I finalized all the arrangements for Caleb's care, and since we had been told to be at the hospital before 7, tried to get to sleep early. On the morning of the scheduled induction, they called me at 5:00 am and told us to report to the hospital at 6:30. My dad picked Caleb up to take him to school, so we knew he was taken care of for the day, and we headed to the hospital. With Caleb, I did this whole process while having contractions, so this time it was much less stressful. After completing registration, we were on our way to our delivery room. Please note, after this, my timing is just guesstimates or cross-checking with my text messages and updates I was sending to my friends because I was a little busy!
This is when it started to feel real. I changed into my hospital gown and got in bed. After getting settled in and setting me up with an IV, they gave me a bag of fluids so I would be well-hydrated. After that the doctor came in to discuss the action plan with me and he guessed that we would have a baby around 5:15 pm. He explained that the first part of labor would be the longest, with the least strong contractions. Once I was dilated 5-6 cm, he said it would move quickly. He also promised me that I would only push for five minutes. Yes, you read that correctly. FIVE. I was very excited about that, but highly skeptical.
Once he left, just around 9 am, they started me on Pitocin. Pitocin mimics the oxytocin that your body creates during labor and makes your uterus contract, causing, you guessed it, contractions. At first he started me off really low on the dosage, and went increasing it little by little. He said his goal was to get my body started with as low of a dosage as he could.
Side note: One of the things that we decided after Caleb was born was that Eddie and I would be in the delivery room by ourselves (I mean, there are like 10 hospital staff people in there too, but as far as family goes). However, after capturing birth photos for a great family a few months into this pregnancy, I decided I really wanted some for myself. My friend Cary from Cary Diaz Photography graciously agreed to do these for me. I think she was as on edge as I was in the days leading up to the delivery, but being induced made the day of feel much smoother. You can read her account of the day here. She captured everything I wanted her to, and she did an amazing job of it. What I really wanted captured were the emotions of the day, and I think she did an incredible job doing that!
A little after 11, the contractions started coming on a little stronger. They didn't really have a super distinct pattern, but they were getting more intense. The monitor they had on my belly wasn't telling us how strong the contractions were, so my doctor inserted a monitor that would measure the intensity of the contractions from the inside. At the same time, he broke my water.
At around 11:45, I got my epidural. Just like last time, I felt really faint after getting my epidural, so they had to push epinephrine because my blood pressure dropped so low (I have low blood pressure to begin with - even a very hot bath can make my blood pressure drop so low that I feel faint). The pain subsided after that, but I was still feeling pressure. At this point they also inserted a Foley catheter as well since I couldn't really move around anymore to empty my bladder myself.
Around 2:30 pm, my nurse checked me and said I was at about 7.5 cm. I was feeling really intense pressure, so they gave me this "peanut" to put between my legs. It's like a birthing ball but in the shape of a peanut. You put it between your legs and it's supposed to help open your hips up to help the baby move lower down in your pelvis.
By 4:30, I was feeling really intense pressure, and with every contraction, came the feeling of needing to push. When my nurse checked me, she said I was almost fully dilated, but that she thought I could push through it. She called the doctor in and he agreed with her. So they began preparing the room. By 5:15, everyone was in position and I was dying to push. I felt like I was going to burst with every contraction. After a few more instructions from the doctor and the nurse, I started pushing. I pushed through a contraction, and Eddie told me, "She's almost here. You're doing amazing." Once the contraction subsided, I took a break until I felt the next one coming. I pushed through the next contraction, and her head was out. The doctor told me to take a deep breath and relax for a few seconds. At the next contraction, he had me push again, and out she came, at 5:26 pm (and the doctor was right, I pushed for less than 5 minutes!)!
They immediately put her on my chest and left her there for a few minutes, which is something I didn't really get to experience with Caleb. While this was going on, the doctor was delivering my placenta and there were a million things going on in the room. All I could focus on was my baby.
[Caleb had the umbilical cord wrapped pretty tightly around his neck, and was having a hard time breathing, so I held him for maybe 30 seconds and then they whisked him away. I had been concerned about that with Chloe, but the doctor told us that with second (and subsequent) babies it's not usually an issue because the time they spend in the birth canal is so much shorter that the cord doesn't really become a danger to them.]
While the doctor stitched me up (I was starting to tear in the wrong direction so he had to perform an episiotomy - I had one with Caleb as well), they cleaned her up some and weighed & measured her (7 lbs 4 oz, 18 inches) and gave her her Apgar score (9.9 baby). She cried loudly, and I cried with her. A baby's first cry is one of the most emotionally charged sounds a new mom can hear.
I honestly don't know how I would have made it through either one of my deliveries without Eddie. He has been my rock. He counted for me while I pushed, he held my leg, looked into my eyes, and constantly told me I was doing an incredible job. He made sure my hair was out of my face, and that I was as comfortable as I could be.
Once they cleaned Chloe up, Eddie got to hold her for a few minutes while they finished cleaning me up. Then they gave her back to me and I lated her on to my breast. This was something I really wanted to be able to do, since I hadn't been able to do so with Caleb, and I feel like that hurt the start of our breastfeeding journey. She latched on right away, which made me so happy.
A few minutes later, Eddie went to get Caleb so he could meet his baby sister. It was love at first sight - I'll talk more about how we prepared him in another post. He brought her a present, and she had a gift for him. He wanted to hold her and hug her right away. Honestly, as a Mom, this made me happier than anything. Because it was the moment we became a family of four. (And now I'm crying again.)
The grandparents and my brothers each popped in for a few minutes, and about an hour after she was born, they took her off to the nursery to give her a bath and prepare her for her first night with Mom & Dad.
And that's the story of our baby girl's birth.
At 38 weeks pregnant, I know that I can go into labor at any time (and I'm actually hoping for it to be sooner rather than later). For my labor and delivery with Caleb, I completely overpacked my hospital bag, which I wrote about here. I decided to rewrite my list and give it it's own new post, since I'm so much wiser this time around (that was a joke - I still have no idea what I'm doing). The list is pretty self-explanatory, but I will say that our hospital provided me with a LOT of things that I had packed the first time around and I ended up not needing. The hospital did provide toiletries and necessities, but I did enjoy having some luxe products with me that made my hospital stay just a little more pleasant (I bought travel sizes of salon products and some of my skincare products to keep in my bag).
Some of the things I've included are completely based on personal preference and are completely optional (hair dryer and iron anyone?). But I did like to have the option of fixing myself up just a little bit and having some makeup on made me feel human for visitors. I liked having my own bath towel because hospital towels tend to be a little rough, and my own pillow, along with a bright pillowcase, just so I have some of the comforts of home.
I didn't include this on the list but I do have a few snacks packed and an empty water bottle that will make drinking water while lying in a hospital bed a little easier.
I don't pack reading material with me because [I'm not delusional] I know I will be plenty busy and/or catching up on some much needed shut-eye.
Anyway, here's the list! What would you add or remove?
Since I had Caleb a little over 3 years ago, there have been a slew of new baby products that have come on the market. I swore I wasn't going to go crazy with my next baby and get too many new products, but there were some things that I decided were worth trying out. These are the five products I'm most excited to use when baby Chloe arrives in a few weeks!
I had four strollers by the time Caleb turned two. There was always a reason for another stroller and a specific use for each one. A couple months back, I entered a raffle for a Doona Car Seat. I, who happen to have the worst luck in the world for things like that, ended up winning the Doona in the raffle. The Doona is an infant seat that has wheels and converts into a stroller. This eliminates the need for adapters, going to your trunk, and two pieces of equipment. It really simplifies what is a huge necessity in the first few months of baby’s life, and cuts out the need of having four different strollers. I'm most excited about how easy this will make it to load both kids into the car, and to walk Caleb to class in the morning without having to move baby around too much!
*I received this product compliments of DockATot
The DockATot is one of those items that I had seen all over social media and that is recommended in basically every mommy group I am in. It's a multi-functional lounger and co-sleeper. When Caleb was first born, he slept with us quite a bit, especially in those early breastfeeding days, and I always wished we had a barrier for him so that he was safe and sound in between us. The DockATot comes in two sizes, the Deluxe for babies 0-8 months, and the Grand for 9-36 months. It's tested for breathability, and is all natural and made of 100% cotton. And how gorgeous is this floral print?
*I received this product compliments of Binxy Baby
Oh, how many times I took Caleb to the grocery store and wondered how the heck I was going to manage with him and the infant seat and all the groceries. The Binxy Baby solves this! It's a shopping cart hammock that can be used for babies until they are big enough to sit in the seat on their own. And when they're too little to go in the hammock, it can hold your infant seat - this leaves you the whole shopping cart basket to put your groceries or products, so you can resume your Target runs without worrying that you can't buy everything you need (or that you don't need but ends up in your cart anyway)!
LP Originals Milestone Blanket
Lauren, the sweetheart behind LP Originals, is a Miami native and she started her business a few years ago making custom pieces for all kinds of events. She is an illustrator and creates gorgeous items. One of my favorite items on her site are the baby milestone blankets. She has such beautiful designs. I added this to my registry and I got lucky that someone gifted it to me. As a matter of fact, I loved it so much, that hubby and I got one as a gift for our new baby nephew. It is the softest blanket, and I can't wait to capture her monthly milestones on this gorgeous blanket!
Artifact Uprising Baby Book
Confession: I never did a baby book with Caleb. I thought I would create albums via one site or another, and I never did. The last book I printed was of my maternity photos and baby shower (when I was pregnant with Caleb). I've done a few vacation ones, but never took the time to document Caleb's milestones and special moments. I knew I wanted to do that differently this time around, but I also wanted to be able to complete a baby book for Caleb! Enter Artifact Uprising. They have some gorgeous, classic products. And their baby book is no exception. It's very simple, and it contains prompts for you to fill in as baby grows. I ended up ordering Caleb's book after receiving one for Chloe as a gift, and I've already begun filling it in. My goal is to finish as much of it as possible before baby sister shows up!
So there you have it! The things I'm most excited to use as a second time Mom!