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I'm Not Lucky

2/23/2017

 
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Caleb on St. Patrick's Day last year.
It's almost March, which means all the St. Patrick's stuff has started to show up on store shelves (side note: when did St. Patrick's Day become an actual holiday?). This got me thinking about luck.  

​"You're so lucky." If you live on this planet, those words have probably been uttered to you before in regard to something you have or have achieved. Those words really make me crazy. And while I know that people never say them with ill-intent, it's always a shock to my system to hear those words. 
​
Luck: (noun) success or failure apparently brought about by chance rather than one's own actions.
I'm not sure about you, but I don't feel like most of the things in my life came about by chance. Aside from an initial chance encounter, most of the things in my life have come about through hard work and sacrifice. 

"You are so lucky to be a stay-at-home mom." I would venture to say that this has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with a series of decisions I made during my life, including the decision to marry a husband who recognized the importance of having a parent stay home with young children if it was feasible. 

"You are so lucky to have a solid marriage." Ummm, marriage is hard work. Luck stopped the day my husband and I crossed paths in our university's student center. Every day thereafter has been the product of choices made by each of us to keep our relationship thriving. Speaking of... 

"You are so lucky to have landed such an incredible man." Why yes, my husband is pretty freaking incredible. I'd like to think I am too. And I'd like to think that, again, luck had nothing to do with me landing him. My stellar personality and ridiculously good looks (just kidding haha) must have had nothing to do with it, right? But seriously, did I have nothing to do with it? Saying this implies that he basically picked me out of a hat. And considering we dated twice, I'd say that most certainly wasn't the case. 

"You are so lucky to have your little boy." To this I'd say, read about our struggle with infertility. Has God blessed me immensely with this little boy of mine? YES. Am I grateful to have him wake up every morning? Yes. Did he come to us by pure chance and luck? NO. 

"Your husband is so lucky to have the job he has." I think this one may bother me most of all, and I know I have spoken to many friends who feel this way as well. My husband works his butt off - sometimes at the expense of his own well-being. His success can be attributed to any number of factors, but luck is certainly not one of them. And his success also has just a tiny bit to do with his having a supportive wife at home. 
Anyway, I'm pretty sure that there is not a whole lot that anyone in this life has that can be attributed solely to luck. At some point along the way, a decision was made about something or other that led to whatever this person has or does not have. And I'm going to say I'm fairly certain luck has nothing to do with it. 

So next time you're about to tell someone how lucky they are, don't. Some alternatives: "You're so fortunate," or "You've been blessed" (as cliched as that may be, it's still less insulting than "you're lucky." 

Just keeping it real. 

xoxo, 

Jenise
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Ana Gonzalez
2/23/2017 11:42:21 am

Agreed!!!! Love it ❤️

Justine Y @ Little Dove link
2/23/2017 12:48:58 pm

Great post! Loved it! I so agree, luck is really just hard work, or blessings, or wise choices... but I still like St. Patrick's Day because it's just fun. ;) Any excuse to wear fun colors and eat festive food.

Jenise
2/23/2017 12:53:57 pm

I'm not passing up a chance to take cute pics of my kid and drink green beer, but just wondering when it really became such a big deal. Lol. I grew up at a Catholic school, run by Irish nuns (our team name was the Celtics) and St. Patrick's Day was a special day each year, but it's funny that for a culture that doesn't like things to have a religious connotation, they sure do celebrate religious days!

Alejandra Rudner
2/23/2017 12:52:39 pm

On point! buuut if you win the lotto, I'm coming over for you to sprinkle me with some luck! 🍀

Jenise
2/23/2017 01:25:16 pm

That really would be lucky, considering I don't play the lotto! lol

Justine link
2/23/2017 10:56:03 pm

GIRL. yes. the top three. luck has nothing to do with it, choices, ya'll. choosing to stay home, choosing to put your marriage first, choosing to put your man first.

Eddy
2/24/2017 10:51:50 am

Wow you are so on point with your responses yet respectful of others thoughts. Proud of you!!!

Peter
2/24/2017 11:20:45 am

Great perspective Jenise. I often tell people the same thing. People are always trying to explain success with luck. I always tell them it's a daily grind, mixed with a whole bunch of sacrifices. We are always trying to find a shortcut. Though I do believe in luck. Sometimes things are unexplainable. Sometimes you meet someone out of pure luck. Sometimes your company takes off because you're lucky another shop opened next to you that drives business. Sometimes the little things in life are just anomalies. Though putting yourself in that position is not lucky. It's work.

Jenise
3/1/2017 02:48:42 pm

There are certainly some things that are based purely on chance and as some would say, luck. But giving luck all the credit or blame takes away from our ability to make decisions and work hard for what we have achieved!

Lilli
2/24/2017 06:13:42 pm

You are so right! I have had this conversation with so many people. I feel just like you do; life is fillled with choices and decisions it is not based on luck.😘


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