Over the last fourteen months, I've learned a lot about myself and others. I've learned that I'm way stronger than I ever gave myself credit for, and that strength comes from somewhere deep within. I've learned that I can retain an inordinate amount of information when it comes to my son, but I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday.
I've also learned that moms can be pretty exclusionary. The minute I announced on social media that my husband and I were expecting, I was invited to join several mommy groups on Facebook (If you don't believe this is a thing, I swear, it very much is... there are countless numbers of mommy groups out there). Some of the groups were filled with women who were so kind and helpful to one another. Others were full of drama and required group administrators to place bans on topics and to remove people from the group. Can you imagine?
So my friend Ale and I started our own group. We have managed to keep it rather small, and we don't accept everyone to be a part of the group. We have managed to keep it intimate, even though the member count climbed quickly to nearly 200. Time and time again, I have heard from some of the moms in there, "It's so nice to come to place where you can ask questions and not feel like you are going to be attacked."
How SAD is that?!
That new moms have to be weary of asking questions because they are afraid they will get attacked for a choice they have made. It makes me so disappointed. I know I myself am guilty of judging, but I would never make a mother feel bad for her decision, nor would I ever attack a mother or call her names because she is doing something I don't agree with.
In attending mommy & me classes, and going to a couple of different activities, I have also noticed that us moms can be pretty exclusionary. We think, "Oh that mom is doing it differently," or "They look different."
It's the Mean Girls "you can't sit with us" mentality. And that's not right.
Let's change that. Let's be the nice moms. Let's have a "you CAN sit with us" mentality. We'll all be a lot happier that way.