For a little while now, I have toyed with the idea of letting my hair grow out naturally and not covering up my gray hair. Two years ago, my mom underwent this transition and she looks amazing and she is happy. Ever since I watched Stacy London on What Not to Wear, with her white streak against her black hair, I was intrigued by the notion that a patch of graying hair didn’t necessarily need to be covered up.
I started getting gray hair when I was 18, and ever since then, I have been working hard at covering it up. Over the last few years, it has gotten worse. I had been going to get my roots done every 3-4 weeks, and I started doing them at home to save a little money. By a week after I had dyed it, sparkly white roots were already starting to pop up. At two weeks, it was time to color my roots again.
And I’m over it.
I’m over the constant upkeep. I’m over people staring at me for the patch that grows in right over my right eyebrow, where I love to part my hair. I’m over covering up something that is completely and totally natural.
Having kids and becoming a mother has given me a confidence I didn’t have before. Something about growing a human and sustaining it makes you realize that there’s a lot of things that we put importance on that aren’t really important. Plus, I have this notion of how I want my children to see me as they grow up, and of how I want them to see themselves and others as they grow up.
In particular, having a daughter has made me hyper-aware of the limits that we as women put on ourselves. Don’t gain weight, don’t get wrinkles, don’t get too skinny, don’t let your gray hair grow in. I want my daughter to grow up knowing that her beauty is defined ONLY by what SHE considers beautiful. And what better way to show her that than to live it? And truthfully, I think it will be positive for my son to grow up seeing that beauty isn’t just thin and blonde and with a full face of makeup.
Does this mean that I’ll never dye my hair again? I don’t know. Honestly, I know that this is going to be a test of my will and patience. I’m going to give it a shot. I’ve already spoken with my stylist and we have a plan to help camouflage the growth a little so I don’t have a hard line of growth. I know I’ll come up against some comments - I’ve already had a few people tell me that I’m too young and I’m crazy.
You want to know what is crazy to me? That we rely so much on antiquated standards of beauty to tell us who or what we should be, when we are defined by so much more than that? Why is it that men are considered sexy with their salt and pepper hair, and as women, we are considered to be aging prematurely? (And ladies, find yourself a man who tells you he’s growing his hair longer because he wants to match his hair to yours - yes, he said that.)
You know what else is crazy? Thinking that my hair color is what defines me. I am defined by SO much much more than the color assigned to me by genetics. And at the end of the day - it’s hair. If I hate it, I dye it again and start over.
Does your gray hair make you feel gorgeous? ROCK IT. Does red lipstick make you feel like you run the world? YASSS QUEEN. Does a fresh face make you feel your best? HELL YES. Do you feel better with a little shot of Botox now and then? THAT’S ALL YOU MAMA.
It’s time to redefine what beauty really is. So many companies and brands have started to move towards this idea that natural is what is beautiful, but there is still so far to go. Our children will be bombarded with images of what is deemed to be beautiful from a very early age, and it’s up to us to give them the images we want them to emulate. At the end of the day, I don’t care if my daughter dyes her gray hair or doesn’t wear makeup. What I want her to do is be comfortable in her own skin, and do things because SHE wants to do them, not because anyone else tells her she should.
At the end of the day, our confidence is what makes us beautiful anyway.
Do you momma. Because I think you're gorgeous as you are.