No, I'm not pregnant again. But a year ago today, I found out that I was pregnant with little Miss Chloe. I didn't know she would be a she, but from the moment we found out, she was already so loved. I've been a little frustrated the last few days because she is going through the fourth leap in the Wonder Weeks (if you have a baby under a year old and don't know about this, look it up) and she is smack in the middle of her fussy period. She hasn't wanted to be put down and she just wants me all the time. While I was holding her and nursing her for what felt like the tenth time this morning, my Timehop notification popped up on my phone, and this photo I took right after finding out I was pregnant showed up.
I feel like this photo pretty accurately captures my joy, my surprise, and my anxiety all at the same time. Seeing the photo reminds me to stop and breathe through these frustrations, because for a while I didn't think there would be another pregnancy for me. I took a few minutes out of my day that day and the next few to jot down a few thoughts, and I thought today was as good a day as any to share them with you.
Today I found out I am pregnant. It was honestly one of the most shocking moments of my life! Since we struggled to get pregnant with Caleb, we thought we were going to have to undergo fertility treatments to conceive our next baby. We had done a few visits with our reproductive endocrinologist, but had decided to hold off on treatment because of various reasons.
In June, we went on vacation for two and a half weeks, and then to Orlando for BlogHer. Before June I had been tracking my period, checking my BBT, and trying to make sure we were active on the days when I was supposed to be ovulating. I haven't been on birth control in over 5 years, so I figured if it hadn't happened yet, then we definitely would need the doctors help. But since the month of June was so busy, I didn't think about any of that. As a matter of fact, Eddie and I booked a trip to Wine Country for the first weekend of August.
A few days ago, I was being really cranky and snapping at everything. Eddie said to me something along the lines of, "You must be getting your period." When he said that, I stopped and thought for a minute and realized I was already more than a week late. My period isn't super regular, and I've had months where it has been 2 weeks late, so I put it out of my mind.
This morning, I went to do my nails, and on the way home I decided to stop at Walgreens. Since I was in the aisle, I picked up some pregnancy tests and figured I'd take one just in case. I went home, unloaded my stuff and went to the bathroom. The positive line showed up IMMEDIATELY. I freaked out. I started shaking. I called Eddie into the bedroom and told him. He didn't even know what to say. We were both in shock. Here we were, thinking we would never get pregnant without medical intervention, PREGNANT.
I have a friend who works in the reproductive endocrinologist's office, and she's been through our entire journey with us, so I texted her. Their office is down the street from our house, so she told me, come get your blood drawn. I took off like a bolt and got my blood drawn. Within two hours they had called me with the results - that I am in fact, very pregnant.
This is a very different journey than it was the last time - at least the start of it has been.
Today I started on progesterone. I was on this with my pregnancy with Caleb. There are many reasons for it, but one of the biggest is that it helps you to carry a pregnancy to term. Some of the other benefits are that it decreases pregnancy symptoms such as nausea (which can be a little scary when you still can’t see your belly).
Thinking back, I realize there were a few little signs.
nipples: My breasts were super tender, but I thought nothing of it because they are always tender before my period. My nipples were always standing at attention, too, which happened with my pregnancy with Caleb.
Cousin It: I also have these annoying dark hairs on my chin due to PCOS. I did laser hair removal way back before I got pregnant with Caleb, and I don't typically get a lot of hair after doing the treatment. But when I did get pregnant with Caleb, my hair growth was crazy. In the last few weeks, I noticed the hair was sprouting up like weeds.
Status: Couch Potato: I was also tired and feeling really lazy. I couldn’t get out of bed. And after Eddie and Caleb napped one day, he asked me if I had slept. I replied, I never nap! For the next three days, I swear, all I wanted was a nap.
The nose knows: When all else fails, your sense of smell will let you know. Eddies cigar smoking doesn't typically bother me, but in the last couple weeks, twice the smell REALLY bugged me. Once was in his breath, and he said he had already brushed his teeth, but it was so strong I made him brush again. The other time was on his fingers. He doesn't typically hold his cigar with his left hand and he put his left hand in my face and I was so grossed out.
More bloodwork today to make sure my hCg levels are rising. They more than doubled since Friday which is a great sign. Now we wait until next Monday, when we have our first ultrasound to hear our little bean’s heartbeat.