Thank you for making me a mom. You are the best parts of your daddy and I, rolled up into one tiny human being. A human being who shows me that my purpose here on earth is far greater than any purpose I had ever imagined for myself. You are my living proof that God creates miracles every day, and that he allows us to have a glimpse into the love that He has for us. You are perfect. From your thick, long eyelashes, to your sensitive skin, you are the most perfect manifestation of the love your daddy and I share.
I've been reflecting on being a mother on the days leading up to Mother's Day. Being a mother is something that is truly indescribable. When I was pregnant, people used to tell me, "Get ready to know that your heart is walking around outside of your body." And that might be the best way to explain it, but it's still no explanation. No explanation is great enough or sincere enough to make anyone understand the depth of emotions that come along with being a mom.
To be a mother means to be living in a constant state of paradox.
To fear the world we live in and your place in it, but also to have more hope in the good that you can possibly achieve than I ever have hoped for anything.
To feel pride in the perfect creation that you are, while also feeling wholly unworthy of being charged with your care.
To simultaneously want to protect you from every harm that can come your way but also want you to experience life and learn your own lessons.
To desire so deeply to make sure that your every want is ever met, but to also know that telling you "no" is one of the best lessons I can teach you.
To wonder how I can ever divide the love I have for you with another child, but to know that the bond of siblings is one of the greatest gifts I will be able to gift to you.
To despair at the injustices of the world, but to rejoice in your innocence.
To feel awe at every moment, and disbelief at every second.
But being your mother, that is the best gift I have ever received. And with all of its insecurity, and paradox, and the trepidation in my heart, it is the most incredible legacy I could think to leave on this world.
So thank you, little one. Thank you for allowing me to release my heart out into the world, and for giving me the perfect vessel to do so.
I love you.
Photos by Karla Garcia Costa