There was an article floating around Facebook recently about how raising our kids near their grandparents can be tremendously beneficial for both our children and our parents (their grandparents).
I was so fortunate to grow up with three of my grandparents around and involved in my life (I am still lucky enough to say that I have two of them still around). My kids are even luckier because they have all four of their grandparents around and involved in their lives. Eddie's mom spends one day a week here with the kids and picks Caleb up from school, my dad picks Caleb up and takes him to school one morning a week, and we try to spend time with both sets of grandparents every weekend - sometimes all together and sometimes separately.
And while grandparents can sometimes overwhelm us as parents and have a hard time with boundaries, I am the first to recognize how important they are to not only our children's well-being, but to our own.
Grandparents have been through it before. What seems like a huge deal to us, they know is just a phase and that "this too, shall pass." They can share a perspective with us that might make us feel a little less overwhelmed by whatever situation we are enduring with our kids - be it tantrums, giving us a hard time about eating, or not sleeping.
They also have a seemingly infinite amount of patience. Because they aren't elbow-deep in the trenches all day anymore, they can usually handle our kids with an ease that leaves us with mouths gaping. Situations that would have me reacting or snapping at Caleb, they handle with grace and patience. Caleb will fight both Eddie and I on everything from brushing his teeth to picking up his toys. The grandparents swoop in and ask in another way, and BOOM! He's doing whatever we wanted or needed him to do. I am honestly flabbergasted at the way that our parents can get Caleb to do almost anything.
For Eddie and I, grandparents provide some much needed relief and some extra hands when we need it. Knowing I can count on our parents and that they are so close by is something I have been trying not to take for granted. Just this past week, both kids had been sick, and Caleb wasn't improving. Chloe had a pediatrician appointment, so I wanted to take Caleb to the appointment as well so the pediatrician could check him out. But the thought of going to the pediatrician with both kids by myself proved a little daunting, so I asked my mother-in-law to help me out. Without hesitation, she changed her plans and came to help me with the two kids at the pediatrician's office. This isn't the first time she has done that for us, either. And this week, my mom, knowing I had had a rough week with the kids, made an unplanned visit that allowed me to shower in peace and blow dry my hair. By the time she left, Caleb had eaten dinner and bathed, too - and I had gotten a tiny respite.
I almost feel bad asking for help sometimes, because I know that if I ask, they will move mountains to make their hands available for us. Many times I'll text my parents and ask, "Are you guys busy on Saturday?" And most of the time their response isn't, "We are," or "We're not," it's more often, "What do you need? How can we help?"
I know the relationship with grandparents can sometimes be difficult to navigate - as someone who finds it hard to relinquish control of my children to others, I really understand this. I become a huge micromanager when it comes to my kids. But I know how important grandparents are, and I am more and more grateful every day that my kids are blessed with four truly amazing grandparents. So while I am firm on some of my requests, I also try to give a little, because I know how special that relationship can be.
If you and your children are fortunate enough to have a good relationship with grandparents, who are involved and willing to be a part of your children's lives, take advantage of it. Give your parents and your children the gift of each other.
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